Psalm 51:10

March 06, 2010

Psalm 51:10

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right^[a] spirit within me.

Lord, create a clean heart, a right spirit in me. Tears flowing from my eyes as I remember how I constantly fail You Father. My heart is always the weakest, and it seems it is now becoming a hindrance. My heart easily breaks, how could I give glory to Your Name, with this kind of heart Lord?

I can’t; teach, I can’t dance, I can’t worship You wholly if my heart is crying and breaking Lord. Even the tiniest things, I cry…

Lord, can You take this “sensitiveness”? Even my life of worship is being undertaken because of this wallow emotions Lord.

I am sad and hurt, and I left them on their own today. But I think it’s for the best.

I could not glorify you in this state, in this condition of my heart. I am in pain because they still doesn’t LEARN. There is NO sense of RESPONSIBILITY, NO DISCIPLINE and INITIATIVE, to these young people who “wants” to dance for You. I am hurting because we only give “MEDIOCRITY”. If what we are doing is for You Lord, shouldn’t we do our “BEST IN EVERYTHING”?

There is no CHANGE in us Lord.

I tried to let silence speak first to me, para maalis ang nasa puso ko… But every time I remember their “works”… tears are flowing…

So Lord am asking to just give me this silence. I can’t dance; I can’t lead if my heart is not “ok”. I don’t want to give You a broken heart in worshiping You Lord, I don’t want to take the glory that is only due to Your Name.

I want to glorify You Father, that’s why I’m taking this down. I have to let You heal me again and renew my strength, my heart and my spirit with Your grace, power, mercy and love…

For now…

Psalm 46:10

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God.