March 06, 2010
Psalm 51:10
English Standard Version (ESV)
Lord,
create a clean heart, a right spirit in me. Tears flowing from my eyes as I
remember how I constantly fail You Father. My heart is always the weakest, and
it seems it is now becoming a hindrance. My heart easily breaks, how could I
give glory to Your Name, with this kind of heart Lord?
I can’t;
teach, I can’t dance, I can’t worship You wholly if my heart is crying and
breaking Lord. Even the tiniest things, I cry…
Lord,
can You take this “sensitiveness”? Even my life of worship is being undertaken
because of this wallow emotions Lord.
I
am sad and hurt, and I left them on their own today. But I think it’s for the
best.
I
could not glorify you in this state, in this condition of my heart. I am in
pain because they still doesn’t LEARN. There is NO sense of RESPONSIBILITY, NO
DISCIPLINE and INITIATIVE, to these young people who “wants” to dance for You.
I am hurting because we only give “MEDIOCRITY”. If what we are doing is for You
Lord, shouldn’t we do our “BEST IN EVERYTHING”?
There
is no CHANGE in us Lord.
I
tried to let silence speak first to me, para maalis ang nasa puso ko… But every
time I remember their “works”… tears are flowing…
So
Lord am asking to just give me this silence. I can’t dance; I can’t lead if my
heart is not “ok”. I don’t want to give You a broken heart in worshiping You
Lord, I don’t want to take the glory that is only due to Your Name.
I
want to glorify You Father, that’s why I’m taking this down. I have to let You
heal me again and renew my strength, my heart and my spirit with Your grace,
power, mercy and love…
For
now…
Psalm 46:10
English
Standard Version (ESV)
10 “Be
still, and know that I am God.
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