The First P&W Midweek Service

March 10, 2010

It’s been an amazing night Lord! The first praise and worship midweek service was a momentous event of singing, praising and declaring Your goodness!

(Now I will have my reasons on coming to midweek! Ang sama e!) I don’t usually go to midweek service... words of Tita Mich is echoing na midweek service ay para sa mga hindi nakakadalo ng Sunday worship service… even though she said that, I still don’t go anyways, occasional lang, the last time I attended was when I passed the board exam!

And now Pastor Abe is changing the format of midweek, wherein most of the songs will be lead by the Praise and Worship team. God will do something far better than just “we” leading the worship. Far better…

You know Oh Lord, that I’ve been hoping for this to happen... and this night was the start! The flow of worship was changed... but beautifully changed!

May this be the start of something new... of something that will draw us closer to  You, to focus on You and less in us. To look to You and only to You.

Psalm 107:1

English Standard Version (ESV)

107 Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
    for his steadfast love endures forever!

Psalm 51:10

March 06, 2010

Psalm 51:10

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right^[a] spirit within me.

Lord, create a clean heart, a right spirit in me. Tears flowing from my eyes as I remember how I constantly fail You Father. My heart is always the weakest, and it seems it is now becoming a hindrance. My heart easily breaks, how could I give glory to Your Name, with this kind of heart Lord?

I can’t; teach, I can’t dance, I can’t worship You wholly if my heart is crying and breaking Lord. Even the tiniest things, I cry…

Lord, can You take this “sensitiveness”? Even my life of worship is being undertaken because of this wallow emotions Lord.

I am sad and hurt, and I left them on their own today. But I think it’s for the best.

I could not glorify you in this state, in this condition of my heart. I am in pain because they still doesn’t LEARN. There is NO sense of RESPONSIBILITY, NO DISCIPLINE and INITIATIVE, to these young people who “wants” to dance for You. I am hurting because we only give “MEDIOCRITY”. If what we are doing is for You Lord, shouldn’t we do our “BEST IN EVERYTHING”?

There is no CHANGE in us Lord.

I tried to let silence speak first to me, para maalis ang nasa puso ko… But every time I remember their “works”… tears are flowing…

So Lord am asking to just give me this silence. I can’t dance; I can’t lead if my heart is not “ok”. I don’t want to give You a broken heart in worshiping You Lord, I don’t want to take the glory that is only due to Your Name.

I want to glorify You Father, that’s why I’m taking this down. I have to let You heal me again and renew my strength, my heart and my spirit with Your grace, power, mercy and love…

For now…

Psalm 46:10

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God.

GOD PROVIDES

March 01, 2010

God is really good! God provides in all our needs!

I have no money in my pocket and in my wallet. I don’t know where else I should get the budget in processing the building permit for tito bobs. We loaned 7k at coop, and it is not enough…I still have many things on mind. I even got my salary last month, still not enough to sustain.

And my prayer to God was: 

“Lord, I don’t have any money.. you know my needs. I know and believe that You will provide.”

And my prayer was answered!

My brother was willing to give me, note - "give me.." 10k for the building permit processing, then Arch. Villamil texted me, went to her office and talked about her projects with me, I would be the one who will sign and seal all the architectural plans… and I was paid!

GOD PROVIDES!

Thank You Lord!

You saw my needs, you saw my problems and my anxieties. You know what happened in the past Lord,  and I’m trying to correct it. I am trying my hardest Lord, and if my best wasn’t good enough, I know that You will fill all my inadequacies.

Thank You Lord! May You always give me the strength to be faithful in little ways, to the responsibilities. May I glorify You Lord! Praise! Praise! Praise!

Yahweh Elohim

February 27, 2010

YAHWEH ELOHIM

Niligtas ni Yahweh ang yaong Kanya sa pagkaalipin

Pinalaya Niya mula sa Ehipto upang Siya ay sambahin

Kinilala si Yahweh na tunay na makapangyarihan

Siya lamang ang dapat na sambahin sa Kanyang kadakilan

YAHWEH! ADONAI YAHWEH.. YAHWEH ELOHIM

SIYA AY SAMBAHIN

Ako’y anak ni Yahweh binigyan ng tunay na kaligtasan

Hinango Niya mula sa kadiliman at sa buhay makasalanan

Si Hesus and Kurdero, iniyak, inalay sa paanan

Binigay ni Yahweh sa akin ang buhay na walang hanggan

The practice has started today at 1 pm in Peterson building.

Very often that I really don’t know what will be the dance steps but for the reason that I first heard the song, I knew in my heart that I’m going to teach this dance to the teatros…

By God’s provision and grace, we manage to finish the first and second verse of the song… and I know it will be beautiful in Your sight Father…

Thank You for teaching me to dance.. thank You for choosing me to teach

I know my capacities Lord, and though I do not dance at Your sight Father, you knew that I do dance with or without watching people..

I pray Thee that this dance will glorify Your Name with the dancers dancing.

Be glorified in everything Abba…

GUARD YOUR HEART. LEAD YOUR HEART

February 09, 2010

“GUARD YOUR HEART. LEAD YOUR HEART”

(A remembrance from my writings in my 2^nd journal)

Surely Lord that my heart is the weakest… I am way too easily please. Good thing You have provided me with wisdom. As Pastora Gay once said “feelings not guided by wisdom is dangerous.’

When I struggle Lord over what my head is telling against my heart Lord…My heart is telling me “it’s alright, it feels good..” the desire to be loved, to be cared.

But my mind tells me “surely, you know what is right from what is wrong, and you know that it is not right, you know that somebody’s going to be hurt just because of your selfish desire. You know all along what it is to be done.”

Surely, I know the right thing, and the right thing is always the hardest thing, lalo na’t involve ang puso mo…

Lord I like him… matagal na… and it was just not right.. I know…

Sometimes I blame the situation (whereas I should really be blaming myself!) when we got really close, and I fell for that Lord…

The natural desire to be loved, to be cared.. to feel you are worth the attention, the sweet appreciation…

It could have been “mutual feelings” could have. But I could not afford it.. it’s not worth the wait! I’ve been waiting for many years and it is foolish to give my heart while somebody cries (and that somebody would be me in the end!)…

The key is in Your hands Father, open up my heart only and only if the RIGHT ONE comes along, at Your appointed and RIGHT TIME.

And right now is not the right time Father

Teach me to wait patiently.. to wait truthfully for that someone who would give his heart to me and me alone.

SOMEONE

Someone…

Who would give his love with all that he is

Someone…

Who would give his heart for me and me alone

Someone…

Who would look me in the eye and tells me I’m the only one for him

Someone…

Who would treasure my love until the rest of his days and for eternity

Someone…

Who would lead and guide me into knowing You more

Someone…

Who knows what is a woman’s worth

Someone…

Who would really care

Someone…

Who would laugh and cry with me

Someone…

Who would be there through ups and downs

Someone…

Who won’t say goodbye

Someone…

Who would commit himself to “forever” and not just for a “moment”

Someone…

Who could be truthful and faithful

Someone…

Who would also lead and need me

Someone…

Who has the capacity to love more than he loves me

Someone…

Who’s inlove with His Saviour

Someone…

Who could be a servant

Someone…

Who would guard my heart and guide my heart and lead my heart

Someone…

Who has great smiles for everyone

Someone…

Who is strong and yet knows his weaknesses

Someone…

Who loves my Lord too, or loves HIM MORE

Someone…

Who loves to worship and praise my God

Someone…

Who would be  a loving Father, and a good provider

Someone…

Who has great hopes and dreams

Someone…

Who is kind and gentle and honest in every way possible

Someone…

Who is not perfect but tries to…