Lord, Here's My Heart

July 31, 2010

2 Samuel 24:24

²⁴  I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.”

“ Lord,” I said, “here’s my heart.”

-       Elisabeth Elliot (Passion and Purity)

Lord, I’ve always told You that my heart was the weakest in me… the desire to be loved and cherished are always the longing of my heart. My heart who aches for a man that will love me as I am, care and need me… treasure me.. as I am to him…

And my heart was filled with hopes with this man. Will our time come? Will the time comes when he can look me in the eye and say that “I am only his” and no one else… time when he can hold my hand, my only hand. Time when his heart will be offered to me and only me… as a man gives his heart to his only “woman”.

Lord I kept this things inside my heart… wishing, hoping, that one day we will be together, til death could only separate us apart.

But Lord, You have shown me, how I sinned in my heart and my thoughts. I coveted to someone who is already with someone.

The pain was there…

And You have shown me that I couldn’t hope for that “someday”

.

That someday will be Yours to make if You will it to.

The man will be given if is Your will to give…

So now Lord, here’s my heart…

I entrust my heart to You.. all what’s inside my heart…

The one that I long for is in Your hands…

The pain to surrender it to You Lord, was for now… but I give it to You

I could only hope to You… and in You

I could only trust that You know what’s best…

Trust that Your goodness never fails..

Trust that You hold my future in better hands

Trust that Your promises are true.

Mark 9:24

English Standard Version (ESV)

²⁴  “I believe; help my unbelief!”

Trust me, I have not earned your dear rebuke,
I love, as you would have me, God the most;
Would lose not Him, but you, must one be lost,
Nor with Lot's wife cast back a faithless look Unready to forego what I forsook.

This say I, having counted up the cost,
This, though I be the feeblest of God's host,
The sorriest sheep Christ shepherds with His crook.

Yet while I love my God the most, I deem
That I can never love you overmuch;
I love Him more, so let me love you too.

Yea, as I apprehend it, love is such
I cannot love you if I love not Him,
I cannot love Him if I love not you.

-       Christina Rossetiti

What do I really want? Was it love what God commands, in the words of the elect and to desire what He promises? Did I want what I wanted, or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?

-       Elisabeth Elliot