An unread letter

May 11, 2010

I need to talk to you about me.. about you..

May pakiusap lang sana ako sa iyo…can we bring back the way we used to treat with each other? Friends? As only friends? Nothing more.. nothing less..

Habang tumatagal pa to, baka masaktan mo na ako.. I need to protect my heart, I need to guard my heart, dahil wala namang gagawa nito kundi “ako” lang.

Remember, noon we were just friends, we treat each other as friends, we care for each other as friends care. And then one day, everything changed.

At first, nagtataka ako kung bakit bigla na lamang may nag-iba.. and I like what I felt.. someone cares for me as a woman, someone is treating me special..but I know deep in my heart that this won’t last…

You already belong to someone. You will not end up in many years with her if you don’t love her.. there were times when you were “on and off”  but, time proves that you still would want to commit , you chose to stay with her and be with her even though it is rough,, and I do admire you for that. Staying “committed” to your relationship.

And long before when we were friends, you already made a choice. I always say that “life is  full of choices and you are free to make your own choices”. Only few people can choose to stay and be committed, and you are one of them.. I know…

What am trying to say is… ayaw kong maging “hindrance” sa inyo. Ayaw ko ding nahihirapan ka sa sitwasyon. You are not committed to me, hence, you won’t have to choose between her and me.. but afterall, you already made a choice…

You see your hand? It means you are staying with her… it means you belong to her- and her to you.

Remember what Pastor said in the pulpit “man cannot be divided by two women. Isa lang ang naalis sa kanyang buto, hindi dalawa.” And I was saying in my thoughts.. listen.. you should listen! While we were sitting apart from each other…

And I realized, we should be apart now from each other. It was a big realization.

God was already parading the both of you in my eyes to tell me that you belong with each other. God made the both of you for the both of you, not for me…

 And God is right.. He is always right! I knew it all along…

Moments with you was one of the happy moments of my life.. even in just a little time. If only moments could last forever.. but we both know that it is far too different.. and every moments has an ending.

You belong with her.. and I hope and pray that I too belong with someone who could truly spent moments with me until for eternity…

So choose to be happy with her. Stay committed to her. Love her just like you always do before our moment came. Be faithful to her, do not be lead astray. Hold her hand and never let her go. Wag mong hayaang humawak ka pa ng isang kamay na alam mo namang papakawalan mo din. Treasure her, her love to you… it’s a rare find.

Lastly, know that I am always your friend. I will always be your friend.

So can we bring back the old times? As friends and only friends?

Isipin mo na lang na nakatanaw ka sa gitna ng karagatan and then bigla mo na lang nakita ang “passing ship”, gusto mo sanang sumakay dun kaya lang bigla mong naalala “nakasakay” ka na pala sa barko.

Isipin mo na lang na ako yung passing ship sa buhay mo. Wag mo sanang kalimutan na “you are already on a ship”. Hindi mo na kailangan pang lumipat pa…