When I Rise

May 23, 2010

When I rise

Full of love

For a life and laughter

And the me that I am

Love will meet me…

When I rise

Above my own neediness

Fear

And frustrated tears

And allow myself to be warmed

By the Son

Love will shine on me…

When I rise

Past prayerlessness

Desperate hopes

Sleepless nights

And wondering why I’m alone

Love will wrap me in its arms…

When I rise beyond sacrificing who I am

Mastering my heart

And giving my affections

Too freely to the ungrateful…

WHEN I RISE

When I rise

Above

Accepting scraps

When I crave for a whole slice of cake

Reaching for carrots

That are merely mirages of together

Forever

Accepting another’s rejection

As calidation of my undersirability…

When I rise

Oh when I rise above it all

My wings will carry me

To a place called faith

And deliverance

A place where

The lies whispered in the dark must flee

In the face of such intense light…

For this is the place

Where God is

And love dwells

For God and love are the same…

And as I rise ever higher

Chains snapping from my heart

My mind

My soul

I soar ever higher

Carried on the wings of love itself

Yes, I rise

And love kisses me deeply

Ever so sweetly

And whispers

I’m home…

--MICHELLE MCKINNEY HAMMOND

This Kind of Woman

May 15, 2010

Psalm 37:7

⁷  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
     fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
    over the man who carries out evil devices!

Waiting is a form of suffering- the difficulty of self-restraint, the anguish of unfulfilled longing, the bewilderment of unanswered prayer, my flesh and my heart failing, my soul breaking.

We want answers now, right now, but we are required at times to walk in darkness.

Nevertheless, God is in the darkness.

Job 23:10

¹⁰ But he knows the way that I take;
    when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.

I don’t need to know the way. I need only to TRUST MY GUIDE.

It is on God that we should wait, as a waiter waits- not “for” but “on” the customer- alert, watchful, attentive, with no agenda of his own, ready to do whatever is wanted.

Psalm 62:5

⁵ For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.

In Him alone lie our security our confidence, our trust.

A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace.

God is in the waiting.

Psalm 18:32

³² the God who equipped me with strength
    and made my way blameless.

Aim above all else, at loving God.

Make a wholehearted surrender of your life to God.

Believe that He takes you at your word.

Do not be surprised at the opposition of the adversary.

Pray, making your requests known to God.

Watch.

Expect Him to give you what He knows is best for you.

Receive His answer for today.

Trust His timing,

Obey God in the least thing shown.

Commit your uncertainties and fears to Him.

Act on principle, not on impulse, will, not emotion.

Accept the demands of your masculinity or feminity.

Remember that to take up the cross means suffering.

Do not walk into temptation. Flee.

Make a commitment to be not merely careful but “chaste”.

Keep your hands off and your clothes on.

Confide in and seek help from an older Christian.

Be grateful for your assigned portion. (Psalm 16:5)

Praise and sing to the Lord. Thank Him for everything.

Keep a quiet heart.

Do the next thing.

Isaiah 41:10

¹⁰ fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

-       ELISABETH ELLIOT 

(QUEST FOR LOVE)

I hope and pray that I could be this kind of a woman- a man seeks for his wife. A woman who:

•          Is feminine and has faith
•          Is glad as she is a “woman”
•         Acknowledges Christ as her Lord and Master
•          Has a sense of humor
•         Will put her husband and children above her own interests
•          Has unfading loveliness of a calm and gentle spirit
•         Who knows that love is not just a feeling but of action
•          Is Godly

Prepare me O Lord to be the kind of woman you want me to be…

Blessed is that simplicity that leaveth the way of hard questions, and goeth in the plain and steadfast way of the commandments of God.
Many have lost their devotion because they would search the higher things than pertaineth to them. Faith and a good life are asked of thee, and not the highness of understanding nor the depths of the mysteries of God. If thou may not understand nor grasp such things as be within thee, how mayst thou comprehend those things that be above thee? Submit thyself therefore meekly to God, and submit also thy reason to faith; and the light of knowledge and of true understanding shall be given unto thee as shall be most profitable and necessary for thee.- Thomas a Kempis

A Letter To Someone Who's Waiting For Me

May 14, 2010

To someone who’s waiting for me,

I  may not know you right now, know nothing about you, or where you are..

But I want you to know that you are in my prayers, always. At night, there are times when I think about the day, the perfect day that God will made just for the both of us. When we will look for the first time in each others eyes.

I may not know you or I may… but I do believe that God has a perfect plan for the both of us. I was made for you, and you for me.

It is my prayer, that I would keep myself pure for you, everything in me will be only for you. My whole heart will only beat for you and only you,

My first kiss with you will be shared on the altar, my hands will hold only to you, my arms will only draw to you.

Will I be captured by your genuine smile, or your kind heart? Will I be amazed on your leadership and love to Him? Will I be awed by your authority as a man of God He had created you to be? I wonder what I might feel if I would have known you for the first time?

Will I ever knew if you are the only one? The God-given one?

Will I be prepared when we meet? Will I be worthwhile for you? Will I also be the right woman for you?

Neither of us know what is our tomorrow.. only we can trust God, He has predetermined our tomorrow. All we could do is to TRUST for every circumstances that will lay and lays, for every future that will bring.

During my waiting years, I am thankful to God that He is preparing me for you. I was created for you, I believe with my whole heart.

Will you be the kind of man that I was hoping,  waiting and praying for? Will I be the kind of woman you too are hoping, waiting and praying for? 

I will wait.. so please “ish”, wait for your “ishah” too.. let’s wait on God.

Soon and very soon… by His loving guidance- He will direct our paths with each other. Soon and very soon, our hopes, our dreams will be in perfect bliss because God is on our side. He is in control.

Wait for me “ish and I will surely wait for you my love…

In this world where many people have been created… in thousands and thousands of faces… I know one of them is YOU. He can search the whole world for me and for you to be together.

God will bring us with each other, even if we are miles are apart…

Let our hearts not be troubled.. our time will come. Our moment will surely come- it will not tarry. Because the Lord said so.

Let’s prepare our hearts.. may it only beat for our loving Master.

And when His perfect time will come… our love will glorify our Maker.

From someone who’s waiting for you too.

An unread letter

May 11, 2010

I need to talk to you about me.. about you..

May pakiusap lang sana ako sa iyo…can we bring back the way we used to treat with each other? Friends? As only friends? Nothing more.. nothing less..

Habang tumatagal pa to, baka masaktan mo na ako.. I need to protect my heart, I need to guard my heart, dahil wala namang gagawa nito kundi “ako” lang.

Remember, noon we were just friends, we treat each other as friends, we care for each other as friends care. And then one day, everything changed.

At first, nagtataka ako kung bakit bigla na lamang may nag-iba.. and I like what I felt.. someone cares for me as a woman, someone is treating me special..but I know deep in my heart that this won’t last…

You already belong to someone. You will not end up in many years with her if you don’t love her.. there were times when you were “on and off”  but, time proves that you still would want to commit , you chose to stay with her and be with her even though it is rough,, and I do admire you for that. Staying “committed” to your relationship.

And long before when we were friends, you already made a choice. I always say that “life is  full of choices and you are free to make your own choices”. Only few people can choose to stay and be committed, and you are one of them.. I know…

What am trying to say is… ayaw kong maging “hindrance” sa inyo. Ayaw ko ding nahihirapan ka sa sitwasyon. You are not committed to me, hence, you won’t have to choose between her and me.. but afterall, you already made a choice…

You see your hand? It means you are staying with her… it means you belong to her- and her to you.

Remember what Pastor said in the pulpit “man cannot be divided by two women. Isa lang ang naalis sa kanyang buto, hindi dalawa.” And I was saying in my thoughts.. listen.. you should listen! While we were sitting apart from each other…

And I realized, we should be apart now from each other. It was a big realization.

God was already parading the both of you in my eyes to tell me that you belong with each other. God made the both of you for the both of you, not for me…

 And God is right.. He is always right! I knew it all along…

Moments with you was one of the happy moments of my life.. even in just a little time. If only moments could last forever.. but we both know that it is far too different.. and every moments has an ending.

You belong with her.. and I hope and pray that I too belong with someone who could truly spent moments with me until for eternity…

So choose to be happy with her. Stay committed to her. Love her just like you always do before our moment came. Be faithful to her, do not be lead astray. Hold her hand and never let her go. Wag mong hayaang humawak ka pa ng isang kamay na alam mo namang papakawalan mo din. Treasure her, her love to you… it’s a rare find.

Lastly, know that I am always your friend. I will always be your friend.

So can we bring back the old times? As friends and only friends?

Isipin mo na lang na nakatanaw ka sa gitna ng karagatan and then bigla mo na lang nakita ang “passing ship”, gusto mo sanang sumakay dun kaya lang bigla mong naalala “nakasakay” ka na pala sa barko.

Isipin mo na lang na ako yung passing ship sa buhay mo. Wag mo sanang kalimutan na “you are already on a ship”. Hindi mo na kailangan pang lumipat pa…