Frustrations and Hurts

March 15, 2010

Revelation 4:11

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹¹ “Worthy are You, our Lord and God,
    to receive glory and honor and power,
for You created all things,
    and by Your will they existed and were created.”

Lord it saddens me again, my heart is looking for a “change”, and I am always dismayed, disappointed.. for all these years, there was none at all! Para bang walang saysay ang lahat ng tinuturo at natutunan (meron nga ba?) ang lahat ng napag-aralan kung hindi rin lang naa-apply!

Twice I have felt this Lord- annoyance and gloominess. It annoys me to see that the “team” is not “serious” enough to be Your instruments… simple thing- TIME. Simple thing –DISCIPLINE.. and we have NONE! For all these years, we have NONE!

We are not doing our BEST in everything- that is the saddest part. IN EVERYTHING!

TIME, TALENT, TREASURES! THE BIG T3!

Masama ang loob ko that we are not using Your precious time to do what is NECESSARY.

So, how could I dance, sing and shout for joy if I could not? You know I can’t. I can’t glorify You in this state. 

And no one can heal me again and again but YOU.

Nothing I am more secure and safest than in YOUR ARMS.

Nothing I am more serene than in YOUR PEACE.

Often times I have to walk away, or just leave.. because I’m not strong enough to stay. Knowing that I could only run into Your side and seek for Your help, to renew a right spirit within me.

And sometimes Lord, napapagod na ako. I am tired of crying, of disappointments, of dismays, of hardship in this ministry.. and yet…

I know in my heart that I can’t let You go. And so it continues, everything what I feel, everything I think.. and it continues to break my heart, and I know nasaktan ko din sila sa mga sinabi ko.

But Lord, sometimes the harsh words are the words that could pierce a soul. So that they may see the SERIOUSNESS of being used by You.

We should not give you anything that is MEDIOCRE. Because You are a BIG GOD! You deserves our very BEST.

And it hurts to see, that I know they can give You more, but chose to give little 

.

We need to CHANGE LORD.

WE NEED A PURE HEART, RIGHT DESIRES.

WE CAN’T JUST GIVE YOU A BIT OF US

WE NEED TO GIVE YOU ALL OF US.

And Lord, I can’t see that...

And it frustrates me...

It disappoints me...

It saddens me...

All is VANITY! ALL IS USELESS!

UNLESS…

WE CHANGE.. TRULY CHANGE.