JUST LIKE BEFORE...

JULY 03, 2008

My first written journal here was all about my discouragements, my hurts and sadness happened during Christmas Institute 2007. That event was so stressful and tiring that I found myself loss and ended in pain, emptiness and surrender. Surrendered to the big task of serving Him. I got weary, tired and hurt.

God knew that it cut me so deep and I quit, I didn’t run as officer for Conference Year 2008-2009… maybe I was full, too much for me to handle. And I needed a long time to rest, to rethink of who I am really, examine my broken heart, and let God restore my everything.

True enough- “I WILL GIVE YOU REST”, said the Lord, and those times of silence with God- He showed me wonderful things, amazing things. He let me see how beautiful it is to serve without asking, to love even without receiving in return. The joy of serving Him comes from knowing His unfailing love for me.

God healed me and I was renewed. For all those times, all these time- HE IS FAITHFUL. I have so many things- those experiences, to learn from, again and again…

“thank You Lord for Your discipline, for my growth, for my own good. You are good in every season, I change- I get cold, gloomy, sad, coward… but through it all You are leading me and guiding me, even in the midst of storms and turmoil. Your love is UNCHANGING.

Who is Joannah that You loved dearly and waited patiently? I am forever grateful Father, for You are always FAUTHFUL and TRUE.

Prepare me once again Lord, my heart to lead again, to serve again for You and Your people.

I am ashamed of whether I could help my fellow officers since I am going to Manila for my review, but Lord, help me still, to not let my review be a hindrance when it comes to serving You, even in my own little ways.

I do want to serve You Lord, it is my delight! Thank You Lord for continually teaching me Your ways.

All praise, all worship is due unto You alone.

Use me Lord, just like before…

Isaiah 55:8-9

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.